It’s dire times for us… It’s dire times for us… Date/Time: Mon 03 Apr 2006 02:15:29 PM EDT I’m reading this book called “Brotherman,” and really it’s just us, it’s stories by black authors about black men. It represents me and who I am. I’m about brothers and I’m about black culture. So many negative things happening, it’s dire times for us. I think we need all the closeness and togetherness and it transcends the sexual. As a human being, sexuality really is such a small part of who you are. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of sex. So with black men’s health, you’re gonna really have to get into that aspect of it. Of really catering to them, by having black male clinics, having black male workshops, just more to help them, like employment.
The happiest time of the day… The happiest time of the day… Date/Time: Mon 03 Apr 2006 02:00:30 PM EDT All of us went to school at one time or another and that’s the happiest time of the day, when school gets out. I went to go pick up my son from school that day and I thought they’re happy, they’re out of school, and they’re innocent - that’s how you start life. There’s a lot of things that they don’t know, but they are still getting an education. You got to educate yourself - why shouldn’t adults be educated? That’s what people have to do about HIV risk.
The light on the other side… The light on the other side… Date/Time: Sat 11 Mar 2006 11:40:53 PM EST There are some stars there, this is a light on the other side of the freeway. I thought about how an African American man, and sexuality in general, is just a dark subject - no one wants to talk about it, no one wants to deal with it. And lord knows, …HIV/AIDS is not something [to talk about], as they say in the old-school, “ain’t to b’scussed.” I want to see it less dark, actually I want to see it not dark at all. [Dark is] this big old blanket …smothering important things that (should) be discussed.
Silence is costly… Silence is costly… Date/Time: Wed 12 Apr 2006 06:27:30 PM EDT “Talk is cheap, silence is costly.” When I was growing up, one of my mother’s favorite things that she would always say, “talk is cheap.” - You just talking and no action. Silence is costly. We have a boom of HIV and AIDS going on in the Black community…. There’s a lot of silence, there’s a lot of “I don’t’ want to talk about it” …or such and such died of AIDS - it’s always after the fact.
Storms… Storms… Date/Time: Fri 10 Mar 2006 06:23:29 PM EST When I think of storms, I think of chaos…you feel like you want to try and avoid being caught up, being swirled around in chaos. Sometimes, sexuality can be a storm for people …everyone has their own storm, I can’t speak for everyone, but I think that when it comes to the issue of looking at this picture of the storm… we should get beyond … risk rates …we should look at the aspect of …preventative maintenance. People often talk about services that are available…should you become positive, but not enough is being talked about what you can do to avoid becoming positive. Oftentimes people don’t know how to react in certain storms.
Know Your Limits… Know Your Limits… Date/Time: This picture shows someone sleeping on a park bench, but in reality, he was partying hard and is resting. After drinking too much, you are not aware of your surroundings. Not aware of what occurred. I have blacked out before…on a subway bench and didn’t know if I had anonymous sex or if condoms were used. The HIV prevention message is to know your limits – have someone see that you get home safely.
When the sun goes down at Fairyland… When the sun goes down at Fairyland… Date/Time: Wed 12 Apr 2006 11:44:07 AM EDT Fairyland, a place where you’re supposed to take your kids. But when the sun goes down at Fairyland, let’s just say a different kind of kid comes out to play. The people who go there, they know what goes on there - sexual play. It’s a big risk to your person, because it’s not safe. And I’m not just talking about sexually, it’s not safe because there are people waiting to rob you, some people have been killed, bodies have been found at the Lake. It’s a beautiful place to be at during the day, I wouldn’t recommend being out there at night.
No stereotypes… No stereotypes… Date/Time: Tue 28 Mar 2006 11:49:22 PM EST This is my bedroom, my computer, printer - my jersey’s in the background. Kind of gives you a little detail about who I am. Looking at this picture, you wouldn’t think anything stereotypical. We shouldn’t think anything stereotypical about HIV prevention because there are no stereotypes for something that affects everybody.
I’ll go to the dumpster… Date/Time: Thu 16 Mar 2006 11:41:07 AM EST When I walk from home I pass this dumpster. Even if it’s day or night - there is a good chance, that I’m going to see somebody there either doing drugs, or sleeping, or doing some sex act. This cloud over people, [where they say] “I have to hide my sexuality”… why do we live in a society where people would have to go to that level.
You won’t be high for long… You won’t be high for long… Date/Time: Mon 13 Mar 2006 08:49:27 AM EST This [is] the San Mateo bridge…if you don’t stay in your lane and driving defensively, you’re set up for an accident. Obviously, around this curve here, if you’re high, you won’t be high for long cause you’ll be in the water or you’d be against that wall or something, wrapped around those poles. If you’re having sex with someone, if you’re high wherever the high is from, your judgment is not going to be quite as clear.
Perfect places that aren’t safe… Perfect places that aren’t safe… Date/Time: Sat 01 Apr 2006 05:52:46 PM EST This picture is Mosswood Park, right by Kaiser. Something violent happened to me one night. I was thrown out of a car into this park. I found out later that after years, and years, and years, that the people that did this to me hung around this park. You see kids, they have a softball field, they have a basketball court, and all of that. But there are predators in that park. They don’t look like predators, they look like they [are] only just on the basketball court, or they’re just sitting BBQ-ing and things like that. A lot of perfect places aren’t safe. It’s a cruising area. They have these little trees and they have a stage there and a lot of stuff happens at night. But what’s funny about it is, it’s right across the street from Kaiser. I think about that every day. It’s dangerous, it’s predators, that’s a very dangerous place even though it’s by the hospital.
The train to San Francisco… The train to San Francisco… Date/Time: Sat 01 Apr 2006 09:26:40 PM EST It’s a BART sign. Signaling what train’s coming in. That one says San Francisco. I took a picture of that because I think about how many times I’ve been over there, how many times I’ve wanted to go over there when I was younger because I felt that I would fit in over there. When I think about San Francisco, it’s nationally known as gay. When most people think gay, they immediately think AIDS, even though it’s been proven that it’s everywhere but narrow-minded people still equate gay with AIDS. I think about the marches, the AIDS marathon, the number that is living with HIV, and all the signs that talk about it. Unlike in Oakland, you see prevention signs everywhere for HIV. They have so many resources over there for HIV. Counseling, everything.
They are trying to get my attention… They are trying to get my attention… Date/Time: Wed 12 Apr 2006 04:02:44 PM EDT It’s actually a manmade pathway by the BART station - a little thoroughfare where they have bushes. At night you can hear the whistling and the “psst, psst” of somebody trying to get your attention, calling you from the bushes. They are trying to do something sexual that’s very unhealthy and it’s not safe. If you’re in the bushes and you’re trying to get someone’s attention, you’re hiding from something. A lot of people that I know that have the virus don’t go out in public. They move to another city, where nobody knows them. This is the only way that they can have sexual encounters with someone, in the bushes. Somebody could be robbed, walking through there. Then you have people that do have the virus [and who] are angry and solicit people to give it to them. They just want to give it to everybody.
Vacant, but occupied… Vacant, but occupied… Date/Time: Fri 07 Apr 2006 05:59:09 PM EDT That’s a BART bathroom. From my own personal experience, a lot of times when you go into a bathroom, the sign on the door says vacant [but] it’s occupied. Somebody’s in there. They want somebody to come in because they want to have sex. Being that’s a public bathroom, they need to have prevention signs in there. I bet if there was a sign that says “if you’ve had unprotected sex you may catch HIV” - I bet that would slow it down. If you’re trying to do something you’re constantly looking up at this sign, if you’re sitting there having unprotected sex you’ll stop, I would!
The Pay Phone… The Pay Phone… Date/Time: Wed 12 Apr 2006 04:55:28 PM EDT There’s a story behind this phone, because once upon a time you could call in to this phone, and at night, this is a stroll, or at least it used to be back in the day, where people were hanging out and people would actually answer the phone, so you do the math. Actually SBC has helped us out with [reducing HIV risk], because you can no longer call in to this phone, you can only call out.
Access to the Internet… Access to the Internet… Date/Time: Mon 03 Apr 2006 11:25:55 AM EDT Black people need access to the Internet for health care because the more access you have to the internet, the more you can be an advocate for yourself, the more you can find out about HIV prevention, and the more you can find out about just your general health. If something happens to you, if a doctor tells you something, you can go on the Internet to [get] a different viewpoint of what somebody said, even if it’s about your sexuality. It’s important that we understand that for African Americans and black men’s health, having a computer is important.
Take Time to Enjoy Simple Things in Life… Take Time to Enjoy Simple Things in Life… Date/Time: This is Ocean Beach. It is my favorite place to go and unwind. I love the quiet time to myself. No stress – just relaxing for the moment. It is my favorite place to meditate and be at peace. This tells you that I am peaceful and down to earth and enjoy nature. It is important for HIV prevention and to reduce your risk to take time for yourself because you only have one body. Pay attention to what your body is saying – focus.
Get out and exercise... Get out and exercise... Date/Time: Tue 21 Mar 2006 02:17:49 PM EST You see that it’s a lot of steps. This represents the challenge of trying to get out and exercise. When I think about black male health, AIDS prevention, I think of trying to get brothers to be more conscious of exercise and weight. Your system would be less susceptible to [HIV] if you exercised, ate right, instead of smoking, drinking, staying up all night.
You have to eat nutritionally... You have to eat nutritionally... Date/Time: Mon 03 Apr 2006 11:32:52 AM EDT I have four kids. This refrigerator reflects the food that you need for four kids. It reflects our eating and my eating. It’s hard to really see, we’ve lemons and some carrots, some lemonade - but that is homemade lemonade. It shows what it takes to take care of yourself - you have to take care of yourself nutritionally.
“You were not alone before and you’re not alone now...” “You were not alone before and you’re not alone now...” Date/Time: Mon 27 Mar 2006 03:42:59 PM EST It’s a reminder to myself that I’m not alone either because sometimes you think you cannot get help or talk to anybody, but you can. I know people personally who have been through things alone, they didn’t have to. I was out at the lake that day [where this ad was viewed], I go there a lot to feed the ducks, the geese. And I enjoy feeding them because they don’t care if you’ve got problems, they don’t care what’s on your mind, if you’re rich or poor, they don’t care. You got bread you’re alright.
Slow down and enjoy life…Slow down and enjoy life… Slow down and enjoy life… Date/Time: Sat 25 Mar 2006 09:24:04 PM EST I need to slow down and enjoy life a little bit more and take time out for my friends. And take time out for myself - I’m always taking time out for other people. Behind me someone is chowing down as if he never ate before, you all can’t see that though. It’s very similar to if you’re exposing yourself to HIV/AIDS - if you run yourself ragged, your immune system is challenged. You have to keep an eye on that. The other thing I thought about … is foreplay. Like sometimes sensual looks or sensual staring, or mutual massage. People don’t realize that touching is amazing, people don’t realize what the power of touch can do, I mean, to folks.
A place of knowledge... A place of knowledge... Date/Time: Fri 10 Mar 2006 06:22:22 PM EST I think about the various friends I’ve had who are departed and also who are still here, and family. I think about that tree, it has its roots. I’m rooted in my friends and my family, but more so my friends these days. But, I look at the tree as a place of knowledge. Friendships, you always learn things from each other, it’s not always a one way thing. You always learn something that can be gained. I think about the extended family, for someone like myself who seems to have major issues with my sexuality. I’m the kind of person who’s like “if you can’t deal with it, too bad, move on.” But I think about these branches here, the friends I’ve made over the years that treat me like I’m their blood. I think about the power of that…with knowledge comes, well hopefully, comes good choices. The choice to be safe, or safer, in the bedroom. The choice to realize …that [what] looks good is not always good for you. …I think of the power realizing you don’t have to be desperate.
That's my neighborhood... That's my neighborhood... Date/Time: Tue 11 Apr 2006 08:53:45 AM EDT No matter how many times I see that sign, I love seeing it. I’m still alive … it makes me stop and think about what’s important. To see that sign again at the end of the day - it maintains health, because if I die, I won’t see that sign anymore.
I want to be here for him... I want to be here for him... Date/Time: Mon 27 Mar 2006 03:14:46 PM EST That’s my son. We were just messing around walking up the street. He [said] “Dad take my picture,” and I took it. And when I looked at him, I thought about him, looking at how fast he’s growing, and how it’s important to be there for him. That tells you that I’m a parent, a father, and that I care about my child - I love my child. That’s one of the reasons why I take care of myself, why I would not engage in risky behavior - I want to be here for him. I want to see what kind of adult he’s going to be, what kind of person he’s going to turn out to be. I have my ideas, but I’m sure I’m wrong - you never know how they’re going to turn out. He means everything to me, he’s my strength, he keeps me out of trouble, he keeps me focused, keeps me from making bad decisions. I never want to embarrass myself in front of him and tell him “I’ve done this, I’ve done that,” when I know better. The most important thing I can do is to take care of myself so I can be here for him.
Appreciate just the simple things... Appreciate just the simple things... Date/Time: Mon 27 Mar 2006 02:49:25 PM EST The view from my son’s classroom. He daydreams a lot. When you’re in class, you’re supposed to be paying attention, but you’re actually daydreaming. We all do it. My son, when he daydreams, he’s looking out there. Adults need to do that too sometimes, just do simple things. I’m trying to see what my son sees when he looks out there - just look out instead of listen. I found out that we both like to look at views. I thought it was kind of nice that we both have that in common. The flowers on the bush on the right - with beautiful color and that building in the distance - there’s a lot to see in this world, a lot of things to live for still. And people should appreciate just the simple things. Why not take care of yourself? Get yourself checked out, maintain your health basically. And risky behavior is not worth it, because all these things will be gone.
Things have a way of working themselves out... Things have a way of working themselves out... Date/Time: Tue 11 Apr 2006 10:06:00 AM EDT I was looking across to the other side of the lake, you could see the water, you could see the sky. In the upper left corner you’ll see blue sky, then in the middle, you’ll see gray sky, and then in the bottom right, blue sky again. That’s how life is - it starts off good, then it gets kind of uncertain, you can’t see for the clouds, you don’t know what’s coming. It’s like when you have a problem, if you hang in there you’ll get the blue sky back. Like the old folks say, “things have a way of working themselves out.”
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